You can count on me now
by TheDragonflyInn
Summary: Set in season 4, episode 21, when Jess shows up at Rory's dorm room. She doesn't want to run away with him but instead decides to give him a piece of her mind. But things don't really go the way Rory had intended them to and she discovers what her mother really meant when she said that Jess was dangerous, and Jess discovers that sometimes, words aren't enough.


_A/N: This is a oneshot for now, I'll maybe make something more out of it when I'm done with some of my other stories and if anyone's interested in a continuation._

_There will be a shift in point of view towards the end, but I'll mark that with a double line-break so I'm hoping there'll be no confusion._

_I'd love getting reviews and knowing what you think of the story!_

* * *

"What's going on with you?" Rory asked and looked at Dean, waiting for answer on how things really were between him and his wife. Seeing he was standing in her dorm room, rather late at night, she didn't think things were going too well.

Dean opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted when the front door of the building flung open and a guy in a black leather jacket walked in. Rory stared at him, not really believing her eyes.

Jess. Off all the people in her life, he was the last person she had ever expected to run into outside her dorm room in the middle of the night. She couldn't help feeling a flutter of something in the pit of her stomach. Those damn butterflies that always seemed to come to live whenever Jess was around.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, turning away from Dean and towards Jess.

He walked up to her at a rapid pace. "I need to talk to you" He said without giving Dean as much as a glance.

"Jess…" Dean cut in, holding his hand up as to stop Jess from coming too close.

"I need to talk to _you_" Jess repeated without taking his eyes of her and putting extra emphasis on the word 'you' as to clarify he wanted to talk to her alone.

"What's going on?" Dean asked, sounding sad and beat.

Rory cringed. Dean probably thought that this was more than it was. He probably thought Jess used to show up at her dorm room like this every other night. He probably wouldn't believe her if she tried to explain.

What would it matter by the way? He was married; she didn't owe him an explanation, not any longer

"What are you doing here?" She asked Jess, probably sounding angrier than she had meant to. But that was the only question she could think of to ask, remembering all too well how he had ran last time they met. What was he doing here? Didn't he know how much it hurt for her to see him again?

"Rory, please" Jess pleaded.

"Rory?" Dean asked the second after and Rory felt like she had travelled back in time, yet again being torn between Jess and Dean.

She sighed and turned to Dean, running her hand though her hair. "Go – go home"

Dean looked from Jess, to her. "No"

"Yes, go. You should go" Rory pleaded, not wanting this to turn into a fight between Jess and Dean. It was enough to deal with the shock of Jess turning up like this, she didn't need that.

She watched Dean leave the building and then turned to Jess. "Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away" How could he do this again? What did he want this time? Why did he have to search her up and mess with her feeling time and time again?

"Rory" He pleaded again.

"What do you want?" She threw her hands out, not sure she really wanted to know the answer to her question.

"I don't know. I just wanted to see you, talk to you. I just…"

He looked so insecure, not at all like the Jess she remembered. He looked…vulnerable, that was the only word she could think of and without thinking of it her voice was softer when she asked again. "What?"

"Come with me" Jess said in a breath, as if he was afraid he'd lose his courage if he let things as breathing get in the way of saying what he came to say.

"What?" Rory shook her head. What was this now? His latest way of messing with her mind?

"Come with me" He repeated.

"Where?" She asked, making sure the disbelief in her voice carried through.

"I don't know…away!"

"Are you crazy?" She looked at him, trying to convey how absolutely insane his proposition was.

"Probably. Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it" He talked fast, as if trying to convince the both of them.

"I can't do that" Rory turned around and entered her room.

"You don't think you can do it, but you can." He followed her, still trying to convince her. "You can do whatever you want"

She stopped and turned around to face him again. "It's not what I want" She almost shouted, not quite sure if it was him or herself she trying to convince.

"It is. I know you" He argued and she had to resist the urge to fall into his arms and agree to let him take her with him wherever he wanted them to go.

"You don't know me!" She turned around again, afraid that her eyes would betray the longing she felt.

"Look, we'll go to New York." He followed her as she turned and placed himself in front of her again. "We'll work, we'll live together, we'll be together. It's what I want. It's what you want too"

"No" She frowned. This was all wrong. She couldn't leave, he should know that.

"I want to be with you, but not here. Not this place, not Stars Hollow. We have to start new"

"There's nothing to start!" How can you start something with someone that you know will leave the minute things get difficult? How can you start something when there's still so much unfinished?

"You're packed." He pointed towards the boxes in her room as if they were all the evidence needed. "Your stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect. You're ready. And I'm ready. I'm ready for this. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can"

She wanted to believe him so bad and he did sound sincere, desperate almost for her to believe him. But the memory of him leaving was too vivid in her mind. She had believed he would stay back then too – she had trusted he wouldn't hurt her, and he had broken her heart. "No!"

"Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it too. I know you do!"

"No, no, no, no, no!" She shouted, trying to shut out his words. She didn't want to hear how they were supposed to be together. She had spent so much time trying to banish that exact thought from her mind; she didn't want to hear it from his mouth.

"Don't say no just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say no if you really don't want to be with me"

She wanted to be with him, she had always wanted to be with him. But he had left – he was the one that always left, that wasn't interested in sorting things out and making them work. It wasn't right for him to ask this of her; to give up everything she knew and loved to run away into an uncertain future. He claimed that he knew her – well, then he should know she wanted certainty.

"No" she said at last, even though the words coming out of her mouth was breaking her heart all over again. But she couldn't. She couldn't run away with him, she couldn't throw everything away for someone she didn't trust.

Jess took a long look at her, as if he was waiting for her to take back her words and she felt the tears stinging behind her eyes. Without another word Jess backed out of her room and disappeared.

Rory stared at the open door through which he had left with her mouth open. Did he? No. She looked around the room, as if she was expecting Jess to suddenly pop up behind one of the boxes. He did. She couldn't believe it. He did it again. He threw this life changing kind of thing onto her and left. Again.

Why couldn't he ever stay and face the consequences of his words? Why did he have to run away and leave her confused and broken-hearted every time?

Not this time, she said to herself and rushed to the door and flung it open. The corridor outside was empty. She hurried to the entrance and saw his retreating figure a few steps ahead.

"Hey!" She shouted, but he didn't seem to take notice. "Hey!" she shouted again as she leapt up to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn around and face her.

"What?" He looked at her with an irritated frown on his face.

"What?" She repeated. "You're asking _me _'what'?"

He sighed. "Look, Rory…"

"No!" She shouted. "You look. You listen, Jess. You can't just walk into my life each time I start to get the pieces back together and tell me these kinds of things: 'I love you' or 'Come run away with me' and then leave. It doesn't work that way Jess!"

"Look, I'm sorry. This was a mistake"

"A mistake?" She was furious and made no effort of hiding it. "So this was a mistake? Last time you told me you loved me – was that a mistake too? What if I had agreed to run away with you, how far would we have gotten before you realized it was a mistake? The parking lot? Would we have made it out of New Haven before you changed your mind? Would you have slowed down before you pushed me out of the car and continued to New York on your own?"

"I would never push you out of a car. At least not a moving one" He said in a low voice and she was tempted to smile but resisted the urge, she was too angry to let him lure her into ignoring all the important aspects of what she just said.

"Well, that's comforting" She said in a bitter tone. "This…" She said and threw her hands out as to point at the situation they were in. "…was a mistake. Sorry for bothering you, I'll go back now and you can leave for wherever you're going this time" She turned around and started walking back towards her dorm.

She didn't get very far though, before Jess grabbed her arm and stopped her. "I love you Rory"

"Yeah, I forgot" She said and turned around to face him. "What is that now? Your version of goodbye?"

"I mean it Rory, I love you"

"I'm sure you think you do, but when you love someone you would wanna be with that person, right? It doesn't make sense that you would get in your car and try to put as many miles as possible between you and the person you claim to love"

"I wasn't ready. But I am now, you have to believe me"

"I have to believe you?" She scoffed. "Like I believed everything else you said? 'I'm taking you to prom' or 'I am attending school'. I believed you then, look where that got me"

"It's different now. I am different now" He pleaded, echoing the words he had used to try and convince her to run away with him just moments ago.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Jess, but I'm having a hard time believing that" With that she turned around and walked away.

She made it to the front door of the building before she heard his steps behind her. She sighed and turned around to tell him to leave. There was nothing left to say and she felt indescribably tired. She wanted to go home and be alone and forget this day ever happened. "Jess, I–"

She was interrupted when he crashed his lips to hers and kissed her. It was a desperate kiss as if he was still trying to convince her that he was ready to be with her.

Her first reaction was to try and push him away, but that didn't last long. In fact, the way her hands, that were originally meant to push him away, landed on his chest resembled a caress more than anything else.

"Jess…" She mumbled against his lips, an action that gave his tongue access to her mouth and that's when the last bit of uncertainty and hesitation disappeared and she fully invested herself in returning his kisses.

She had almost forgotten how amazing it felt to kiss him; how the world around her always seemed to disappear when his lips met hers.

That was why this boy was dangerous. Not because he stole the bridge-money or lawn gnomes or because he put up an attitude towards her mother (or anyone in town besides her) or because he didn't seem to care about things like education and attending school. No. The reason this boy was dangerous was because his kisses made everything disappear; every concern or worry she had about him, about them, always disappeared when he pressed his lips to hers.

Many were the times she had come to him with the intention of talking, but lost all need for words when he moved closer with that look in his eyes. He was dangerous because his kisses made her forget everything her mother had ever told her about 'waiting for the right guy and the right time'. Every time she kissed him it felt like the right time and it felt like no other guy could ever be more right than he was.

It was when the kissing stopped and thoughts were able to work themselves through her brain that she started to worry about things again. Things like him leaving and breaking her heart, doubts on whether she could really trust him and concerns about the feelings his kisses stirred up inside her.

Maybe that was why she kissed him back with the same intensity as he kissed her; she didn't want to worry about things. She wanted to keep this feeling of being with the right guy at the right time and that nothing else mattered.

No concerns, no worries, no doubts, no hesitations. Nothing but his lips against hers.

She reached her hand behind her back and opened the door to the corridor and without letting go of each other's lips they stumbled inside.

Rory gasped when Jess pushed her up against the brick wall and attacked her neck with passionate kisses. She leaned her head back against the wall to give him better access to her neck and a moan escaped her throat when he found that special place on the side of her neck that sent shivers through her entire body.

His mouth found its way back to hers again and she let her hands wander from his shoulders, over the back of his neck and into his hair. His hands found their way up under her shirt and the muscles in her stomach stretched and she gasped when she felt their coldness on her skin.

He pulled his hands away and cupped her face in them instead, probably thinking that her reaction to the cold meant she didn't want it to go that far. To encourage him and prove him wrong, Rory took his arm by the wrist and guided it back to her waist.

He let go of her eyes for a split second and gave her a questioning look. She nodded in response before she ventured to explore his neck with her lips.

As if struck by lightning they both jumped apart seconds later, when a loud bang announced that one of Rory's neighbor's had stepped out into the corridor. They stood, inches apart, and looked awkwardly at each other as a blonde girl carrying a large suitcase hurried past them.

When she excited through the front door, seemingly without taking any notice of the couple right next to it, Rory broke into a fit of giggle. She couldn't help herself; it was so unlike her to do something like this. If that girl had left her room a couple of minutes later she would probably _have_ taken notice of the scene next to the door.

Jess smirked and Rory reached out to grab his hand. "Come on" She said and led him towards her room.

Rory closed the door behind them and moments later she was back in Jess' arms, kissing him desperately. It felt so good to kiss him, so right. She wished things didn't have to be so complicated between them. She wished it could be just as easy as this; she wanted to kiss him and he wanted to kiss her back. What else could ever matter?

She started backing towards her bedroom, pulling him with her. They stopped when her back hit the door and she started tugging at his shirt. With a little help from him she finally got it off him and she felt her body tingling when she saw his naked chest in front of her.

She kissed it and ran her hands over it and she heard him draw his breath. With a smile on her lips she ventured back up and found his lips again. With her hand behind her back she twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

A flash of surprise went through Jess' face as Rory walked them both closer to the bed. He hesitated for a moment when she laid down and pulled at him to follow her, but then gave in when he felt her hand touching his naked upper-body.

She pressed herself against him. There was a fever running through her body, unlike anything she ever felt before. There had been times before when the thought of taking that step from making-out into something more had crossed her mind, but never like this. This wasn't a thought crossing her mind; this was a fever burning through her body, a thought taking up all the conscious parts of her brain.

* * *

.

* * *

Jess felt Rory's body pressed between his body and the bed and on some level he couldn't believe that this was really happening. He had come here because he wanted to convince her to give them a fresh start; a second chance. He had never in his wildest dreams, anticipated this.

He felt as if all blood left his head when her fingers found their way to the button of his jeans. He took a deep breath, knowing there was something he had to do before this situation got out of hand; which it most definitely would any second if things continued to escalate as they had done so far.

"Rory…" Jess pulled away from her and rested on his elbows as he forced her to meet his eyes "…are you sure about this?" He could feel the blood pumping through his veins as he waited for her response; hoping he had the strength he needed to pull back if that's what she truly wanted.

Rory nodded and lifted her head to reunite their lips. It cost him an enormous amount of self-control pull back once again and meet her eyes. "I don't want to push you into doing something you might regret later" He needed her to be sure.

She shook her head. "I want this" She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. "I want you"

With those words the last shred of self-control flew out of his body and he leaned down to attack her mouth with passionate kisses.

* * *

Rory laid with her head rested on his chest and Jess held his arms around her thinking he had never been this happy before in his life. Sure, he had been having sex before, but this was more than that. This wasn't just sex – this was love. Love and utter, complete happiness.

He took a deep breath and pressed his lips against the top of her head. Suddenly he couldn't understand why had felt they needed to run away to be able to be together. It didn't matter where they were; if he got to fall asleep every night, holding her in his arms like this, he could live anywhere in the world and still be happy.

"Jess…" Rory whispered and he stirred a little at the sound of her voice, he had been sure she was fast asleep.

"What is it?" He asked and a hard lump started growing in his stomach when thoughts about her not feeling the same utter, complete happiness as he did entered his mind.

"Can you…" She hesitated and cleared her throat before she continued in an almost excusing manner. "…can you please not leave while I'm sleeping"

Jess was stunned by her question. Did she really think he would leave? After the moment they just shared? Did she think he would tell her he loves her, sleep with her and then sneak out of her room and leave while she was still sleeping?

He had to admit he had given her enough reasons in the past not to trust him full-out, but he never thought… Could it really be that she didn't know how much he loved her?

"At least wake me up if you want to leave" She whispered, reminding him that he still hadn't answered to her plea.

The hard lump in his stomach placed itself in this throat instead, making his voice hoarse when he answered. "I'm not leaving unless you want me to"

He felt her head nodding against his chest and he tightened his grip around her and held her as close as he possibly could. He had messed up so bad. He had hurt her more than he ever thought was possible.

But that was the old Jess – he was different now and no matter what it took he would stay around and prove that to her. He would gain her trust again – no, he would _earn_ her trust and this time he wouldn't let her down.

_You can count on me now_. That had been the argument he offered when he begged her to trust him and run away with him. How could he have thought that words alone could mend the hurt he caused when he left? The pen might be mightier than the sword – but this particular situation called for action rather than words; actions to prove that his words were


End file.
